How to prioritize your mental health while on social media

Being on social while grieving has seriously messed me up some days.

Mother’s Day is a time when everyone else is posting pics of their mamas and the brunches they get to have. The holidays are an annoying reminder of people gathering with their families when mine is apart. And, in general, the things I see as a Black woman make me way to scream, cry, and *delete* everything sometimes.

But I also believe that there are some people doing incredible things to make social (a place I spend time for work and to connect with friends) a nourishing, positive, incredible space. To see people grieving like me. To see bodies that look like mine. To see words that express what I cannot express. And to see things that legit just make me LOL when I’m having a trash day.

We curate our lives in so many other ways - the food we eat, the clothes we have in our closet, the movies we choose to watch/not watch. Social media should be the same. So I reached out to Romila Barryman for a three-step process to use for approaching social media with safety, curation, and intention in mind.

3 steps for cleaning up your social media accounts

Step 1: Set an intention for each platform you're using.

To get out of the habit of mindless scrolling or logging on when you should be shutting down, set an intention for why you have accounts with and why you’re interacting with Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, etc.

For example: “I want to be part of a community of BIPOC womxn who are supportive/ boundary-breaking/ call me out/ create new normalcies in my mind of my own people.”

Find what platforms will allow you to achieve this goal.

Step 2: Go through your "following" list

It’s easy enough to delete someone when their birthday pops up and you ask yourself, “Who tf is that?” But it can also be helpful to intentionally sit down and review the list of people who you allow access into your feed every day.

Review your friend and “following” lists and ask yourself, “Does this person’s content align with my intentions?”

Delete as you begin to answer those questions truthfully. Do not be afraid to delete your "friends."

Step 3: Start using your "like" like currency.

Your likes give content, statements, and accounts credibility (and in some cases even money). Consider using your “likes” and effort in commenting like currency - after all, it does mean using your time, effort, and energy to do these things. So it should be worth it.

Before you like something, ask yourself: What is this person's intention behind the post? What does this post give me energetically?

How to create space for your social consumption

There are a few additional things that you can do to help yourself stay in control of your social and media consumption (in a good way!)

Option 1: Create a secondary “finsta” account for healing

Some of us have to be on social for work, family, or other reasons. So maybe deleting people or companies from your main account isn’t an option. Also, social media doesn’t have to be all bad. It can accomplish great things that inspire us to care for ourselves and interact with incredible people around the world.

To stay on social but also safe, create an account that you can pop into when you need a dose of love, faces that look like yours, words that reflect how you feel, or homies that post the stuff that gives you those lovely goosebump feels.

Option 2: Create a secondary inbox

I have a million different email addresses. They were created for arbitrary reasons, but now I use them in ways that help me sort my life into “work stuff” “spammy stuff” “important stuff” and “the good stuff”.

If you love newsletters but get distracted by stressful work or family emails every time you open your inbox, create a secondary account that will fill up with good vibes and positive media. Then, when you’re feeling down or uninspired open that up to read a goofy recipe newsletter or musings on life from an editor you love.

Alica ForneretJune 3, 2020